Is It Really About the Child?

The other day, my son went over to my kitchen and opened the cabinet where the cleaning supplies are (I know i need to child proof this house already!). I removed him while explaining simply that this is not safe and we can play with other things in the playroom instead. He then went again to that same cabinet and looked inside and again I redirected him. This little goose went once again to the same cabinet and started exploring further to which my patience was running thin. It's almost like he was doing this...on purpose?

Let's dive into this and I'll then explain what I did to defuse.

As parents, we often find ourselves in the middle of chaotic moments, wondering if our kids are deliberately pushing our buttons. But here’s the thing: are we really putting ourselves in their shoes? Are we teaching them to listen to us, or are we helping them to learn and grow?

Let’s talk about relationship-based learning. It’s a refreshing approach that’s all about respect, connection, and a dash of fun. Instead of just trying to get your child to follow instructions, it’s about being a partner in their learning journey. Picture it as a dance where you’re guiding them, but you’re also right there with them every step of the way.

Think of young children as explorers on a grand adventure. They’re not trying to make life difficult for us; they’re just figuring out how their world works. So when they react or make mistakes, it’s not about us—it’s about their experience.

When your child is having a tough moment, remember that their feelings are real and valid. Your role is to soothe them in a way that resonates with them, not just what’s easiest for you. Think of it like a personalized care package for their emotions, delivered with a bit of empathy and a lot of love.

And every hiccup or blunder? That’s pure gold. Each mistake is a chance for your child to learn, to grow, and to build resilience. So instead of seeing these moments as problems, embrace them as opportunities for skill-building. Teach them how to handle conflicts, and watch as they gain confidence and independence.

So, let's get back to my child going to the chemical cabinet. Once I applied the conscious thoughts of "How can I help him learn?" I then sat on the floor with him and showed him what was inside explaining that these are things for mommy to clean the house and discussed further the danger of touching these objects. I added that he can help mommy clean when we get ready for Shabbat together. I then said firmly, "We are going to leave this cabinet alone now." And then I child-proofed the thing. And guess what? He didn't go back. He felt connected to me in that moment, his curiosity was met, and he learned.

At the end of the day, we’re not just raising kids; we’re shaping future problem-solvers and adventurers. And while they might need us a little less over time, they’ll always carry with them the lessons we’ve shared.